About Us Trash
What's a Troller?
The Goog Says:
- A fishing boat that moves slowly while dragging fishing lines behind it
- A person who posts inflammatory, inappropriate, or controversial content online
That pretty much sums me up...I troll...I'm trash...so there.
I'm Garrick...here's everything you need to know about me condensed into some light reading shorter than a leaflet about famous Jewish sports legends. That's from the movie "Airplane (1980)"...that's not mine...but it's funny asf.
A-Aron P. is my creative spiritual guru. He's also a hell-of-a fishing partner. He actually came up with the name "Troller Trash" somewhere on the Ohio Turnpike. I asked him to help me come up with a name and he thought of it in like 10 seconds because he is a twisted genius. He's on Instagram I think, otherwise he's not a social media butterfly. He would have to shoo away too many lady admirers. You can catch him as a guest on numerous Absolute Unit Media episodes. When he's on it's special...kinda like when Scooby Doo had Don Knotts or the Harlem Globetrotters on as mystery guests.
What's the deal with Troller Trash?
Well...I started this decroded piece-of-crap website. Almost everything you see for sale starts out the same way more-or-less...I get stricken with a random moment of creativity at any given point during the day. It almost always occurs when I should've been paying attention to what I was doing....It could be sitting in my truck at a red light, dropping a deuce, working for my job that actually pays me instead of being a giant money-suck like this online shit hole website, fishing, or watching a game on TV, etc...Regardless, it starts with me scrambling to find my phone and jot down notes before my old decrepit ass forgets what my diseased brain has shit out. From there it is sketched on a Chipped-Ham-BBQ-stained napkin. I run it thru an Etch-a-Sketch, a Speak & Spell, and then something slightly more sophisticated like an iPad with Procreate, or Adobe Photoshop/Illustrator, until it finally becomes a design. Also some of my wombat fishing-acquaintances feed me ideas for which I'm always grateful for the inspiration and the companionship.
Have you noticed all these people on Etsy, Pinterest, Social Media etc. trying to pawn-off AI-generated-stock-photo dog shit? They create these designs in like 5 minutes and they are ugly and dumb as fuck. Where have all the artists gone? That's not art. If I see another shirt like this:
or the above shit-ass musky on another design, I'm going to puke. This dumb ass design is everywhere it seems. If you use this clipart, please stop for the love of God. You'll never see that shit here unless I'm using it to make fun of the retards that regurgitate this crap and try to re-sell it as artisan-produced. Hats off to everyone out there whom actually still take pride in their creations and put some effort into ingenuity. I once asked one of these AI image generators to create a musky image and it produced this travesty:
'DaFuk is this? This is no musky...this is the Spinosaurus Aegyptiacus from Jurassic Park 3 that tries to eat Dr. Alan Grant. Dumb. Here's a another AI-produced disaster:
This was an ask to produce a salmon swimming upstream since I'm gonna be dabbling in Salmon-Steelhead designs here shortly as well. Our AI technology isn't exactly SkyNet that is advanced and capable of sending Terminators back thru time to kill our future resistance leaders. My designs typically take quite a few man-hours from start-to-finish. And that's what I commit to you...keep on making unique stuff that is controversial, whimsical, funny, witty, and all that jazz.
I digress...
I now live in Butler PA...No I didn't have anything to do with President Trump's assassination attempt. Currently I live less-than-a-mile from where that all went down. I happen to love the guy. If you don't like that shop somewhere else, but you're welcome here and we can still be friends if I you love to fish, you're a good person with a sense-of-humor, and I can resist kicking you in the genitals for not being MAGA. Ok, got the uncomfortable stuff out of the way...we can hang.
I've always been from Western PA....Aliquippa PA actually is where I was born...the only things that Aliquippa is known for is kicking out a bunch of bad-ass football players like Mike Ditka, Poles/Slovaks that drink a lot of booze and filthy-ass river water, eat really unhealthy food, and owe their living one way or another to the now-defunct Jones & Laughlin Steel Co. I was raised by a pack of wild steelers that were constantly coughing up loogies covered in soot and Red Man chaw...these guys fished hungover on the weekends..filleted panfish drunk while trying no to lop off a finger....wash/rinse/repeat. Hearts-of-Gold all of them, and many are gone now...so what I do is kind of a tribute to my family and local roots.
Wanna hear my first musky encounter? Too bad I'm gonna I tell you...Tionesta Lake, PA...there's a legendary truss bridge that crosses Tionesta Creek at the crumbled remains of the logging village of Nebraska. It spends most spring seasons completely under water...I still go there all the time and will until the day I die. I love Northwest PA fishing and hunting. A future version of a store like Troller Trash for Hunters is in-play for down-the-road...maybe later in 2025...Stay tuned.
Anyways I was like 9-ish I think when I encountered Mr. Musky for the first time. I had a piece-of-Shit Snoopy Rod...like not even a semi-functional Zebco 303. I Got it at the Happy Cow Discount Center, Main St. Tionesta, PA, in or around 1984.
The Happy Cow was The Shit. It was nestled between Blum's hardware and The Knotty Pine Restaurant, and located across the street from Pendleton's Sporting Goods. Good times....sadly the location all burned down in 2003. The Happy Cow had already been long-closed...Take a look around sometimes at the places you like to go...sometimes they go away and don't come back again.
So...I caught a perch, was reeling it in when it got pummeled by what seemed like at the time was a 5 foot musky....Every musky looks that big when you're 9. It was realistically like 40"...but to a little kid it was a mystical beast that I only knew from stories, pictures, postcards from Haller's (a general store in Tionesta that still exists), and a discolored, rotting flesh-mount 47" hanging on the wall of my great Uncles' camp. I used to sleep on a stank-ass couch underneath it, and would look up at it at night kinda creeped-out by the teeth. That's probably where my intrigue and love for the species started. People around that town always told dumb-ass little kids like me that a giant killer musky lived under the Nebraska bridge who ate babies. So I became a Snoopy-rod-wielding dragon slayer that thought he had hooked the notorious Nebraska bridge killer giant musky. My 4lb. test line didn't last long....it was over before it started. Fuck'n Snoopy. He talks shit but can't back it up.
So that's how we got here...
